While we understand that spending time with kids is important, we also need to ensure that the time we spend is 'quality time' and leads to right kind of development of kids.
In this post, we will talk about these pertinent questions,
1) What lies at the core of making the time classify as 'quality time'?
2) What are different ways to spend quality time with kids?
1) What lies at the core of making the time classify as 'quality time'?
You ask if all the time that you spend with kids is quality time. The answer is - when you yourself feel good after spending time with your kid, then it must have been quality time.
Typically, quality time is a mixture of the following elements,
your presence in the moment - not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well
zero or minimum distraction - distraction could be work calls, constant messaging on phones, finishing a task requiring you to multi-task leading to on and off presence with the child
stress or anxiety free presence - displaying a lot of stress or anxiety can affect the moods and development of children negatively and hence, it is advisable to rather take time away from kids while experiencing such emotions
involvement in an interesting activity or a conversation (not necessarily loved) for the child - it could be as complex as solving a Rubik's cube together, simple as finishing homework or as silly as uttering gibberish and enjoying hearty laughs (and hugs and kisses!)
2) What are different ways to spend quality time with kids?
While there are almost innumerable activities that you can do with your kids, like reading a book, watching TV, playing a game, cooking a meal, eating together, finishing homework, decorating your space, drawing and so on..., we want to emphasize on what the overall mix should look like. The set of activities can be a combination of regular things you do with your child (example, reading a story, playing a card game every Sunday,...) and others which are one-off (visit to museum nearby, picnic outdoors,...). Whatever you decide to do, ensure that it at least involves activities from 4 different areas of development for the child,
cognitive development - make child learn something new often enhancing curiosity, a new word to build vocabulary, solve logical puzzles together, play educational games among many others
emotional development - read stories with strong characters, mention what real life actions/ reactions you appreciate what you think could have been avoided (examples of family members or neighbors or other friends' behaviors)
social development - display positive attitudes and habits, use good respectful language, effective ways of communicating, engage in minimum criticism in front of children, enhance awareness about environment and encourage responsible behavior
physical development - exercise together, take a walk outdoors in fresh air, developing healthy eating habits and knowledge of 'good nutrition' food
It is important to make kids learn and learn with them. At the same time, it is equally important to enjoy and have fun with them.
In conclusion, while it is extremely important to spend time as parents with your children, you are often best placed to define 'enough' for yourselves. Just remember that most important is to be completely present in the moments that you spend with kids. It is also critical to identify and engage in various activities that help in cognitive, emotional, social and physical development of the child. Raising smart, strong and responsible individuals and citizens - while it can seem like rocket science, it really is not so with the right guidance and resources.